Spectacular Error

cspainey: COOL NEWS AND GIVEAWAY! It’s finally here! My first...

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 12:46:34 -0400

Aw yeah, just lookit that...

Looooooookiiiiiiit!

140+ comics over 158 pages!

Even the few pages without colour are crisp as all heck! *whistles*

Some comics were redrawn from the ground up, just for this book, and they ended up being some of the best-looking strips yet!

...and they read about 1000% better too; for example, in this strip you can ACTUALLY TELL WHAT'S GOING ON! Ooh, the majesty!

Other strips were remastered; similarly redrawn but much closer to the originals, like this one!

...and also this one! A whole slew of other strips got their own little tweaks and updates, but those you probably wouldn't notice unless you looked supes hard!

cspainey:

COOL NEWS AND GIVEAWAY!

It’s finally here! My first official print collection of comics, “As You’re Up: The Firts Etidion (There may be one or two mitsakes)” is now for sale right here! It’s also available on Amazon if you prefer, though they take a bigger cut of the profit!
You can read some more info on the book here, but here’s a little about it:

_{To say that As You’re Up is the brainchild of Chris Spain and Cameron Livesey (two self-proclaimed “coolest guys on Earth” — both very, very wrong) would probably be an egregious misappropriation of the word “brain.” A more accurate description would be that it is a comic strip about two friends and all the wacky adventures they never go on.}

_{From Rather Dubious Confectioneries to Time-Traveling Electric Razors, As You’re Up: The Firts Etidion collects more than 140 original strips — several of which have been remastered or redrawn completely just for this book —}_{into this 7” x 10” full-colour tome, and delivers them directly to your brain’s chuckle cortex via those big, beautiful eyes of yours. There’s also an introduction from the authors, which touches on the origins of As You’re Up and inevitably goes off on numerous tangents.}

And to celebrate, I’m giving away 2 copies of the book, which I’ll be signing and sketching in! If you want to win one of these luverly things, here’s how you can!

Da Rules:

Reblog this post to enter!

Likes count as an additional entry (but ya do gotta reblog)!

Following me gets you an additional entry, but ya don’t gotta be!

No giveaway-only blogs, c’monguys aww

Ya do gotta have your ask box open, so I can contact you if you win and find out what you want me to sketch!

Winner has 24 hours to respond, or I gotta choose a new one!

Deadline is Weds 26th June at midnight PST (so 2 weeks from today!)

Good luck er’r’r’body! :D

I gotsta win! Looks great.

The Iowa Caucuses and the Race So Far

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 21:13:45 -0500

In general, I’ve been pretty quiet about the GOP primary race so far (except on my Twitter feed) and have actually tried to avoid reading news about it at points, because it has been pretty depressing. Of course, those self-imposed outages have all been short-lived because I am a politics junkie. It’s sad really.

However, tonight is the long-awaited Iowa caucuses. In fact, Iowans began their process a little less than 20 minutes ago as I write this sentence. Before the primary season proper kicks off with the release of precinct returns, I thought I’d offer some thoughts on the race so far and the potential results tonight.

Let’s start with the GOP field overall. Holy Jesus in Heaven afar, Mitt Romney has been a lucky man throughout this process. It’s Romney and 7 fatally-flawed candidates who were also-rans the day they announced, as far as serious election watchers were concerned. Sure, Perry had a chance early on, but his heart was never really in it. Gingrich was in the race to sell books until he actually had a shot at being the nominee for 8 seconds. Huntsman, one of the most objectively conservative and accomplished candidates in the race, slammed the far-right in his campaign’s opening days and it was all downhill from there. Oh, you have 3 hot daughters? How nice for you.

Don’t even get me started on Bachmann, Paul, Santorum and the biggest performance-art candidate of them all, Herman Cain.

I had legitimate concern about the possibility of a few serious candidates entering the race over the spring/summer. I winced at the thought of Mitch Daniels and/or Haley Barbour entering the race (though they probably wouldn’t have run against each other, as they’re close friends.) That’s because, in my opinion, they would be strong in a general election. I considered Chris Christie a viable and threatening candidate even though he didn’t seem very interested by the proposition of running. Even Sarah Palin seemed poised to parachute in and reconfigure the race, though I doubt she would have fared better tonight than, say, Gingrich or Perry will.

So, Romney has been a lucky duck. And yet, his level of support is pretty unimpressive. If he wins tonight, he may end up garnering the lowest percentage of any Iowa winner in history at ~24%, which is not unlikely. I think, based on what I’ve read over the past few days, that a useful indicator of whether Romney really will have “won” the caucuses tonight is if he surpasses his support from 4 years ago, when he was running against a much stronger field.

Just as an aside, I cannot f’ing believe Rick Santorum might win the Iowa caucuses. This is a pretty big commentary on how terrible and volatile the race has been in Iowa. But it also shows how desperate iowa Republicans are to find someone who isn’t Romney. As anyone who is from PA knows, Santorum is so out of touch with the mainstream that it’s not even funny. How they think he would survive a general election against an incumbent, even a middlingly-popular one, is beyond me. He is just the guy who’s insurgent at the right time. If he wins tonight, which the current returns are showing might happen, that will be absolutely apparent as the primary season continues and he’s subjected to greater scrutiny.

The most striking thing to me though is how much harder a time Romney would have if the field was smaller and the anti-Romney people were less fractured. As it stands, Romney may win the nomination without ever breaking 50% in a single seriously-contested primary. journalists are hoping for a long nomination fight but I absolutely see the race being essentially over by the morning after Super Tuesday. Let’s also not forget that a short nomination fight would mean very light scrutiny and testing for Romney before the general.

My feeling is that Romney is the eventual nominee but will have a somewhat difficult time getting widespread full-throated GOP support before the convention and the VP pick.

Anyway, very interested to see what’s next.

It’s Totally Canon - Episode 9 - Laser Bathtub J.P.,...

Sat, 24 Sep 2011 21:46:53 -0400

It’s Totally Canon - Episode 9 - Laser Bathtub

J.P., Kevin and Eamon long for giant raccoons roaming the fields of America, catch Contagion and delight in Gwyneth Paltrow’s movie death, become mortal again thanks to the now-completed Torchwood: Miracle Day, brace themselves for the duds and eagerly anticipate the promise of the new fall TV season, and develop their own much-better new series.

Download the MP3 (right-click -> Save As)

(This podcast features music by kerodean / CC BY-NC-SA 2.5)

It’s Totally Canon - Episode 8 - Billy Corgan and His...

Thu, 22 Sep 2011 00:22:23 -0400

It’s Totally Canon - Episode 8 - Billy Corgan and His Smashing Orchestra

J.P., Kevin and Eamon explore the mystical world of Billy Corgan, issue a challenge to Pennsylvania Governor Tom Corbett, review the movie “Our Idiot Brother,” try to wrap their heads around the “adorkable” Zooey Deschanel, and put Gizmodo writer Alyssa Brezniak on blast for her controversial OKCupid article.

(This podcast features music by kerodean / CC BY-NC-SA 2.5)

It’s Totally Canon - Episode 7 - Four Points for...

Wed, 07 Sep 2011 21:23:36 -0400

It’s Totally Canon - Episode 7 - Four Points for Snifflegriff

J.P., Kevin and Eamon revisit the pivotal scene from Final Crisis, vouch for the collective works of Tom Perrotta, review J.P.’s experiences at the recent video game convention PAX, pitch their desired television reboots, and have a spirited discussion of Harry Potter with New York correspondent Mark.

Download the MP3 (right-click -> Save As)

(This podcast features music by kerodean / CC BY-NC-SA 2.5)

Also, Kevin and Eamon were dubious about my description of the premise of Space: 1999, but this Wikipedia article and excellent disco-saturated intro embedded below prove that I was not describing a sci-fi fever dream I had.

It’s Totally Canon - Episode 6 - Solo Feud In their...

Sat, 03 Sep 2011 20:42:00 -0400

It’s Totally Canon - Episode 6 - Solo Feud

In their Comics Spectacular, J.P., Kevin and Eamon tout the greatness of the comic book “Secret Six”, rail against the reboot of the DC Universe, demand to recreate the accident that connected them to the Speed Force, reminisce about their comics origin stories, discuss their favorite webcomics, and test their comics knowledge in a trivia contest.

Download the MP3 (right-click -> “Save As”)

The Gang’s Webcomics Recommendations

Penny Arcade
Starslip
Chainsawsuit
Hyperbole and a Half
Romantically Apocalyptic
Hark! a Vagrant
Nedroid
Warbot in Accounting
Men in Hats
Perry Bible Fellowship

(This podcast features music by kerodean / CC BY-NC-SA 2.5)

It’s Totally Canon - Episode 5 - Noun the Verb In their Salute...

Sat, 13 Aug 2011 10:00:00 -0400

It’s Totally Canon - Episode 5 - Noun the Verb

In their Salute to the Music of 2011 (So Far), J.P., Kevin, Eamon and guest Mark note their favorite and least favorite songs and albums of the year, create a hot-new-band naming formula, reveal the true nature of the “Rumor Has It” movie soundtrack, and develop the next great children’s book “Boo Can’t Sleep”.

Download the MP3 (right-click -> “Save As”)

The Gang’s Music Recommendations:

Kevin:

Superchunk - Majesty Shredding (album (2010))
Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (album (2010))
PJ Harvey - Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea (album)
PJ Harvey - Let England Shake (album)
REM - Collapse Into Now (album)
Wild Flag - Future Crimes (song)
They Might Be Giants - When Will You Die? (song) (for another interpretation, I recommend this)
Kanye West (feat. Jay-Z, Rick Ross, Bon Iver and Nicki Minaj) - Monster (song (2010))

Mark:

Bon Iver - Bon Iver, Bon Iver (album)
The Decemberists - The King is Dead (album)
Pomplamoose - River Shiver (song)

Eamon:

Sleater Kinney - The Woods (album (2005))
Titus Andronicus - The Monitor (album (2010))
The Civil Wars - Barton Hollow (song)
The Civil Wars - Poison & Wine (song)
The Civil Wars - Falling (song)

J.P.:

Foster the People - Pumped Up Kicks (song)
They Might Be Giants - Canajoharie (song)
They Might Be Giants - Can’t Keep Johnny Down (song)

(This podcast features music by kerodean / CC BY-NC-SA 2.5)

It’s Totally Canon - Episode 4 - Fischer and Loaves J.P., Kevin...

Fri, 05 Aug 2011 00:39:35 -0400

It’s Totally Canon - Episode 4 - Fischer and Loaves

J.P., Kevin and Eamon respond to their first listener comment, argue over the relative hotness of the women of Friends, pitch their surefire hit USA Network series, interrogate special guest Michelle on the intricacies of Burn Notice, use their Canon Powers to determine canonicity within the Home Alone franchise, and reveal their much-preferred alternative to a planned Tales from the Crypt reboot.

(This podcast features music by kerodean / CC BY-NC-SA 2.5)

It’s Totally Canon - Episode 3 - Five Time Lords with...

Sun, 24 Jul 2011 18:46:03 -0400

It’s Totally Canon - Episode 3 - Five Time Lords with Attitude

In their Torchwood Spectacular, J.P., Kevin and Eamon debate the British sci-fi drama in-depth, speculate about the face of its star John Barrowman, discover the true motives behind the alien species in Children of Earth, marvel at the star power behind Miracle Day, and recruit everyone possible into Torchwood.

Note: This episode contains what could be considered spoilers for Miracle Day.

(This podcast features music by kerodean / CC BY-NC-SA 2.5)

Not asking, but wanted to comment...loved Spader on the finale; I thought he was terrific and hated Catherine Tate. She mumbled her lines so much with that thick lower class British accent that she was practically unwatchable. I have the feeling that you might hate Spader because of the Emmy wins...if so, that is pretty little of you since he did not vote himself the awards it was his peers. I have seen him in a few things I was not crazy about, but I have also seen him in numerous roles where he was fantastic. Listening to your podcast I just thought those were very nasty comments regarding an actor who is talented and a nice guy.

Otherwise I agreed with much of what you said regarding the Emmy nominations and who you were pulling for to win.

Thu, 21 Jul 2011 00:06:18 -0400

Thanks very much for the comment. I actually don’t really have an overall problem with James Spader. If I saw him on the street, I would shake his hand and wish him luck. I don’t know where he lives but I live in LA, as I’ve said on the show, and there is an actual chance of that happening, so those aren’t just words.

Kevin actively dislikes him and I won’t question his opinion there. I didn’t think he was a good fit for The Office and am sort of surprised he would be chosen as the “new Michael”, at least that seems to be the indication from NBC last I heard. He was not great on that one episode of Conan, in our opinion. Otherwise, as far as I’m concerned, his work on Boston Legal, the thing I most solidly associate with him, was just fine, I personally don’t begrudge him his Emmy wins or his success, and I don’t think any dislike on our collective part stems from those wins.

I think you’re probably referring most especially to Kevin saying that he should be like his characters in the 80s/90s and “have a coke habit and die” or something like that. I can’t speak for Kev but just knowing him, he probably said it more for the sake of exaggeration and comedy than any actual intense ill-wishes.

I promise we are not always so “nasty,” as you say. We can be nitpicky and mean at times, sure, but our goal isn’t mainly to hurl vitriol at famous people. We made some subjective judgments of quality in very specific James Spader TV appearances, with some over-the-top statements thrown in. I think that’s about all we intended there.

Anyway, feel free to leave another response to what I just said, if you have further thoughts. I hope you continue to tune in to the show. We’re just getting started.

It’s Totally Canon - Episode 2 - James Spader Must...

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 19:35:52 -0400

It’s Totally Canon - Episode 2 - James Spader Must Die

J.P., Kevin and Eamon reveal why the podcast is called “It’s Totally Canon”, note the existence of an alternate universe where Jeri Ryan is the First Lady, discuss the major 2011 Emmy nominations in-depth, hand out “technical” Emmys, and hate on James Spader.

New Podcast!: It’s Totally Canon Many months ago, I...

Wed, 13 Jul 2011 00:31:26 -0400

New Podcast!: It’s Totally Canon

Many months ago, I decided that I wanted to do a podcast, but I couldn’t quite decide what it should be about. My first inclination was to turn to my friends Kevin and Eamon, with whom I could discuss any topic at length and always end up with some comedy gold. After some cautious prodding and patience, they agreed to do a test run, and thus was born It’s Totally Canon.

It’s Totally Canon, named in reference to the kind of phrase you might hear in a fight between nerds, will be a wide-ranging discussion of all things pop culture. We humbly submit our first episode, meant as a proof-of-concept of sorts. Please take a listen and we welcome your thoughts, comments, etc.

In the pilot episode, Kevin, Eamon and I introduce ourselves to the Internet, delineate between what is and is not a podcast, wade into a debate on Hollywood using Nazis as villains, review UPN’s early years, reveal our personal celebrity encounters, and discuss Star Trek and its past and potential captains.

(This podcast features music by kerodean / CC BY-NC-SA 2.5)

(P.S.: I apologize for the audio quality on my end, that won’t be a problem in future episodes.)

TV: Falling Skies So Far

Fri, 08 Jul 2011 00:22:58 -0400

I will never not have something to say about new sci-fi television. With that rule firmly in place, time for some thoughts on Falling Skies, TNT’s new original series about human resistance fighters facing conquest and extinction six months after a devastating alien invasion.

To begin, I think the show has promise, even after seeing the first four episodes, which I would characterize as a mixed bag. The show is clearly trying to build a solid mythology, and focusing on the central questions that are plaguing the resistance itself - what are the aliens after? What are their motives? Why have they abducted children and turned them into a slave labor force? Where and who is their leader? What’s their Achilles’ heel? The writers seem to know where they’re going in this respect - the creator has suggested in interviews that he’s already got at least the major aspects of the just-approved Season 2 nailed down. In fact, revealing these pieces of the puzzle are what the writers are doing best. Such little revelations are always intriguing, and at least for me, get me thinking and even scheming like the humans would - “how could we use this new info to our advantage?”

Likewise, Noah Wyle does a good job as the show’s central character, Tom Mason, a history professor with three sons, one of which has been abducted by the aliens. It’s evident that he knows the character inside and out already, which I think is in many ways holding the series together. In fact, after the last episode, I cannot think of any other characters I really like or identify with.

And that’s where my concerns for the show come into the picture.

First, I think it’s an understatement to say that major plot points have revolved around characters losing their cool under pressure (to put it diplomatically). While I understand that a weary, emotional, battle-beaten, civilian-soldier would probably not act with the calm demeanor of a Special Forces soldier. I can’t say exactly how I’d act under similar circumstances, but I would probably be more cautious than these folks. Making the point that this is an army full of teachers and doctors and teenagers is fine, but you don’t have to make it 10 times an episode, when your characters are alerting the enemy to their position at every turn.

This is different but related to my criticism of The Walking Dead’s first season. In Walking Dead, I complained that the characters defied the logic dictated by their dire situation by putting themselves in grave danger for little potential reward - for instance, returning to the zombie-infested streets of Atlanta to retrieve the likely dead, loathsome, white supremacist brother of one of the “crew.” Falling Skies is marginally better - characters act irrationally and even stupidly, but they seem to recognize their mistakes afterwards, for the most part. The invasion has taken its toll on them emotionally and mentally, and I get that. I just hope that the plot starts progressing because of characters who are acting intelligently, instead of incompetently.

Second, if the mythology-building scenes are the show’s strong point, then the character interactions are its biggest weakness. I guess it’s because I’ve seen the same dynamics before, particularly in Battlestar Galactica. If I want to see a gruff commanding officer who views the civilians under his protection after a civilization-wide disaster as a burden, I’ll watch Adama at any point in the first season of Battlestar, thanks. If I wanted to see the “witty, survive-at-all-costs, lull-your-enemies-into-trusting-you” character, I won’t opt for Pope, the outlaw the resistance finds in the second episode. I’ll watch Gaius f’ing Baltar. If I cared about a love triangle, I’ll watch Lee and Kara and Dualla battle it out in Season 3 of BSG - or any teen soap opera.

I don’t mean to say there’s nothing good here, it’s just too coarse and poorly-defined in some ways, and too tried-and-true in others, to really grab my attention. Perhaps the best interactions are between Tom (Wyle) and his oldest son. At least, those are the ones I don’t roll my eyes at most of the time.

Speaking of rolling my eyes, does the ending of every episode have to be twee and inspiring? It’s hard to accept 42 minutes of dark sci-fi goodness when you have 2 minutes of golly-gee “I’m thankful for this food” dialogue at the end of it. Give us some cliffhangers! Give us some last-minute intrigue! I think the only episode so far that did not have some kind of “strength-of-the-human-spirit” ending was the third one of the season, probably the strongest outing of the bunch.

In the end, Falling Skies has to decide whether it is hardcore serial drama or something more, well, TNT-esque. It needs to start punching above the weight of its network counterparts, which are not terrible shows, but not terribly impressive either. That will be the challenge as it

The Kids Are All Right (-Wing)

Thu, 16 Jun 2011 02:38:00 -0400

On Tuesday, the St. Petersburg Times in Florida covered the Liberty School, a new Tea Party summer camp.

The organization, which falls under the tea party umbrella, hopes to introduce kids ages 8 to 12 to principles that include “America is good,” “I believe in God,” and “I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable.”

Now, whatever a parent wants their 8-12 year old to do during a few days in the summer, that’s not my business. I do take issue with introducing kids that young to the terrible, awful world of political ideology, but again, not my kids. And really, taking a look at the activities, it’s not so heavy-handed that the students will be walking back into classrooms in September and preaching the importance of limited government to their confused classmates. Some choice lessons:

One example at Liberty: Children will win hard, wrapped candies to use as currency for a store, symbolizing the gold standard. On the second day, the “banker” will issue paper money instead. Over time, students will realize their paper money buys less and less, while the candies retain their value.

“Some of the kids will fall for it,” Lukens said. “Others kids will wise up.”

Another example: Starting in an austere room where they are made to sit quietly, symbolizing Europe, the children will pass through an obstacle course to arrive at a brightly decorated party room (the New World).

Red-white-and-blue confetti will be thrown. But afterward the kids will have to clean up the confetti, learning that with freedom comes responsibility.

I like how the first two examples involve somehow tricking these hapless, bored kids who would probably give anything to be playing Xbox or…whatever 12 year olds like doing these days….trading in securities?

Bottom line: My feeling is that this 5-day camp could be a 50-day camp and it wouldn’t guarantee a class full of little Alex P. Keatons down the line. If anything, forcing kids to go through this will make them LESS likely to be passionate about the Tea Party. If their parents are into it, they’ll want to be as far away from it as possible. I want a “Where are they now” story on the inaugural class in 10 years. Put it on your 2021 editorial calendar, St. Petersburg Times!

Anyway, this whole business got me thinking: why don’t Democrats have a rival camp along the same lines. Maybe they could even put it across a lake from the Liberty School, in true cinematic fashion. Here are a few proposed activities/features.

Students will be forced to sit in silence and actually read Atlas Shrugged. They may stop and go outside for recess if they say the magic words: “I love socialism.”
Justin Bieber is brought in to play “the Federal Government” in the camp talent show.
“Gay Marriage: So Fabulous It Should Be Mandatory for Everybody”
Students are given wet willies by counselors. They are then forced to seek “health insurance” from a group of disaffected teenagers, who repeatedly deny them coverage for their pre-existing condition.
Actual death panels.
Every morning, students will pledge their allegiance not to the U.S., but to John Maynard Keynes.
Students will be placed in quicksand. They can ask for a “bailout” from the counselors and receive help, or they can attempt to pull themselves out. Fat students will automatically be deemed “Too big to fail.”

TV: AMC's "The Killing" -Thoughts So Far

Wed, 13 Apr 2011 02:55:30 -0400

I am generally very picky with serial drama, and crime/police serials in particular. They have to be done just right, and they can easily trip themselves up if they’re not careful. I watched the first season of The Wire and loved it, but the plodding season 2 premiere turned me off, and I’ve yet to return to it. If The Wire couldn’t keep me, what hope do any of its spiritual descendants have?

Still, the buzz around The Killing, AMC’s new brooding murder mystery drama, was quite positive virtually from the moment it was announced. Wary of the network that brought us The Walking Dead and its abysmal first season, but buoyed by the likes of Mad Men and Rubicon, I watched the 2-hour premiere episode, and the normal-length third episode, with cautious optimism.

After those 3 episodes, I’m prepared to give The Killing a full season order on my TV. The series shows a lot of promise, albeit mixed with some already-emerging trouble spots. My detailed thoughts, and some spoilers, after the jump.First, the show is straightforward - there is no gimmick, no format hook, no out-of-the-ordinary setting. This approach certainly works in its favor, after the wave of premise-heavy-but-plot-light series, crime-focused or not, that have belly-flopped into television history in the past few years. The show’s set in Seattle, it follows savvy red-headed homicide detective Sarah Linden (Mireille Enos of Big Love fame) as she tries to unravel the murder of local teen Rosie Larsen, while examining the grief of Rosie’s surviving family members, especially her mother (played intensely by Michelle Forbes). Some political intrigue is also in the mix, in the form of the mayoral campaign of Darren Richmond (Billy Campbell of The 4400 fame), whose connection to the murder is yet to be fully revealed.

The simplicity of the premise serves to ground the show, even as the complexity of the murder begins to be uncovered. This is where the pacing of the reveals and the emotional beats come into play, and the precision with which they’re executed in the first episodes gives me hope for the series. Rosie’s body is found at the end of the first hour; “the cage,” the place where Rosie was taken by her possible murderer, is uncovered at the end of the second; and who she was with in the cage is revealed at the end of the third. Likewise, the slow emotional spiral of Rosie’s mother finds its main checkpoints at the end of each episode: she finds out of her daughter’s death at end of the first hour, is revealed to be laying on Rosie’s bed at the end of the second, and tries to recreate what her daughter may have felt before she died by holding her head underwater in the bathtub, at the end of the third.

I’d say that the casting choices for The Killing are a bit unconventional, especially on the police side, but those choices have resulted in characters that are fairly unique among series of this type. Mireille Enos is probably not how most people envision homicide detectives, especially on television, but she brings a calm but engaged manner to the part that makes it believable. By far, however, the most interesting character so far is Stephen Holder, Sarah’s new partner, played by Swedish actor Joel Kinnaman. In a movie, he’d be the loose cannon that refuses to play by the rules, but the character is more complex than that, a credit to the writing and Kinnaman’s acting.

That brings me to the tiny pet peeves that are not ruining The Killing by any means, but are keeping the show from being incredible, so far. First, Sarah, and by extension the writers, have to deal with the the tension between her desire to leave the case and take her son down to Portland, where her fiance is waiting for them, increasingly impatiently, and her duty and desire to see the mystery through to the end. The dynamic here is similar to that of Jack Bauer in season 8 of 24 — just when they are prepared to walk away, they are forced somehow to stay. At a certain point soon however, this tension will have to be resolved once and for all or it will cease to be tension at all, and will simply be annoying. She must either stay and commit to the murder case, or leave and not look back.

It began to irk me at about the third time Sarah’s boss demands that she stay on the case, because she’s “still on the city’s dime.” This rationale is somewhat foggy - she is not the only homicide detective in Seattle, and her partner Stephen has been on the case from the beginning and is more than willing to take it on, even though he’s new to homicide. If this were a small town and she were truly the only qualified person here, the lieutenant’s arguments would be more concrete and unassailable. As it stands, it’s a transparent but not particularly clever way to extend Sarah’s family strife a few more episodes.

Just as a side-note, it seems to be the case in AMC dramas where characters have to essentially apologize for doing the right thing, because other characters get moody when the right thing is inconvenient to them. Whenever Sarah’s fiance pouts about her inability to hop on a plane to Portland, I want her to yell “Sorry, honey, I understand how you’d be upset, I’m only SOLVING A MURDER.” The Walking Dead and, to a much lesser extent, Mad Men have used that same device, and it bugs the hell out of me ever time.

Second, while I’m a big fan of political maneuvering in TV drama, the mayoral campaign has thus far been wanting for realism. When discussing the impact of the campaign’s connection to the murder on an endorsement from a fellow city council member, Richmond says “She will already have publicly given me her endorsement, no going back,” as if no one has ever rescinded a political endorsement before. Indeed, in the next episode, the council member has no problem rescinding, and then un-rescinding, that endorsement, with no questions from the press.

The larger issue at hand regarding the Richmond campaign: it has no solid connection to the central plotline. Rosie is found in a Richmond campaign car at the bottom of a lake, but the car is revealed as having been stolen, and as of now in the story, the murder is nothing more than a drag on Richmond’s campaign. It’s hard to see why so much time is being devoted to that plotline if that is the extent of the connection. If, however, Richmond has a far greater involvement in the murder, or is the murderer himself, the inclusion of the plotline is like a blaring “I’m the killer” siren over his head.

As for whodunnit, I have my own theories. My current favorite is that the incumbent mayor arranged the whole thing to save his political future. He seems just wily and corrupt enough to do it. I’m only semi-serious about that one.

Despite some current minor flaws, I hope you’re watching The Killing. It deserves some love, and I hope it gets the full 13 episodes at least to tell its story. The premiere was the second-highest rated in the network’s history after The Walking Dead (ugh), so here’s hoping for continued success.

Aww yiss

Wed, 30 Mar 2011 16:55:27 -0400

Aww yiss

"If they care at all about their children or grandchildren, and sometimes I doubt that — I..."

Tue, 08 Mar 2011 12:30:00 -0500

““If they care at all about their children or grandchildren, and sometimes I doubt that — I think, you know, grandchildren now don’t write a thank-you for the Christmas presents, they’re walking on their pants with the cap on backwards listening to the enema man and Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dogg, and they don’t like them!””

- Former Sen. Alan Simpson (R-WY), in an interview on Fox News, scolding the elderly for complaining about possible Social Security cuts.

I see two possible, contradictory captions for this video...

Sat, 05 Mar 2011 16:22:00 -0500

I see two possible, contradictory captions for this video game/beverage cross-promotion:

“Argh! This mask makes it impossible for me to enjoy this frosty 7-11 treat.”

“If not for this Slurpee tube conveniently built into my mask, my quench points would be very low indeed.”

TV: Perfect Couples Mid-Season Report

Sat, 05 Mar 2011 00:36:00 -0500

I thought I’d take the time to be your correspondent on another show you probably are not watching. “Perfect Couples”

This NBC series is by no means a must-watch show like Parks & Recreation. But ever since watching the pilot on January 20, whilst taking in the NBC Thursday night comedies, I have had a dull fascination with it. For one thing, I haven’t found it necessary to grab the remote and turn the TV off when it begins. That’s saying something, because I am constantly scrambling in the .5 seconds between the end of “30 Rock” and the beginning of “Outsourced”. I shudder to think of experiencing that show for more than 3 seconds (total, over my entire lifetime).

“Perfect Couples” is not terrible. In fact, there have been moments in the past 7 episodes when it’s been quite good. The plots get pretty cliche and the interactions within the couples are your standard sitcom fare. The marriage comedy formula has rarely been on more prominent display - take 1 part doofy husband and 1 part attractive-and-almost-always-smarter wife, shake well, pour into an 8:30 timeslot, serve. But there are bright spots. Mary Elizabeth Ellis, she of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” is great as the crazy, high-drama Amy. It’s good to see her outside of the straight-man role. Amy’s relationship with the hyper Vance (David Walton), undoubtedly the best comedic chemistry in the series, is also a highlight. The other characters are archetypes to be sure, but nothing that a little smart character development couldn’t fix. I also give it points for the single-camera, no-laugh-track format. NBC is probably the only network really embracing that style at the moment, and its comedies have benefited from the inherent advantages of the format. NBC could have made this another tired multi-camera sitcom and it probably would have gotten more of an chance from passive viewers.

I know what you’re saying. “J.P., hang it up man. You’ve lost your edge. Get ready to think that The Big Bang Theory is appointment television. It’s all downhill from here.”

Well, no, Like I said, the show has its issues. Any show that uses the concept of a “man cave” as the central theme of an entire episode will never be in my top 10. My point is, it’s not perfect but it has not turned out as bad as you probably assumed when you saw the promos.

Here’s a representative clip from a recent episode. In the clip, Vance reveals that he is still upset with Dave for suddenly moving out of their apartment three years ago to live with Julia (Christina Woods) without an apology. Make your own judgments, but as far as I’m concerned, it’s safe to keep this on in between Community and The Office, two generally superior comedies.

Overall Grade Season-to-Date: C+

TV: Outcasts - S1E2

Sat, 26 Feb 2011 04:38:00 -0500

The second episode of Outcasts provides a perfect encapsulation of what I fear the series as a whole could become: a succession of tired plot devices packaged as ambitious sci-fi drama. This episode was an opportunity to solidify the best parts of the pilot while eschewing its more hokey aspects. Neither of those was accomplished, and the result was a fairly sloppily thrown-together, frustrating hour of television.

My thoughts about this episode are rather scattered. Overall, I’m a little disappointed that the most the writers could muster for the second outing, presumably the first written after the series was greenlit, was a tepid attempt at a hostage standoff storyline. The main hostage being the “long-lost” daughter of one of the major characters, no less. It just smacks of either lazyness or panic regarding extending the concept much beyond the first episode. The overall plot - that of the ACs (advanced cultivars, military clones created to test human genetic patterns on Carpathia) finding the crashed subshuttle and taking a hostage hoping to garner medical attention for a baby — is not terrible, but the deeper you delve into the mechanics of how the characters acted and reacted to the threat, the more it unravels. The same applies to the main subplot, wherein a teenage girl accuses the head of the Earth evacuation program Julius Berger, the destitute man’s Gaius Baltar, of stealing his place on the subshuttle before the transporter’s explosion, resulting in the death of her mother.

For instance, I understand that Jack, the head expeditionary, was not pleased about being taken hostage. However, he knew better than Cass or Fleur what the ACs were capable of and what was motivating them, and his actions don’t reflect that knowledge. He picks a fight with one of the leaders, while Cass is the one advising caution and restraint. Cass has zero idea what the larger picture is with regard to the ACs, and he is speaking greater sense than someone who does. Jack’s one of the more potentially interesting characters (and is played by an actor I’ve seen before and liked in Hustle), so it’s disappointing to see him fail to seek a more clever way out of the situation.

A somewhat disturbing trend is developing on the series, and I want to address it now before it either fades away or drives me crazy. I mentioned in my review of the pilot that there doesn’t seem to be a lot of mourning for Earth and its inhabitants. Several bits of dialogue not only reinforce that notion in the second episode, but illustrate a very frustrating concept: certain characters (mostly Fleur) seem to forget the dire situation humanity was just in, and the issues of survival it still faces on the new planet. It’s one thing to bring up objections to certain actions (for instance, Tate exiling the ACs and leaving them to die in the Carpathian wilderness because they assumed they were the cause of the C23 illness). It’s another to pretend or believe that the motivations behind these actions were selfish or devoid of a moral gray area. Throughout the first two episodes, characters (again, mostly Fleur) treat actions taken to save the human race as beyond reproach. What’s worse, the characters being judged rarely if ever defend themselves. I keep waiting for Tate to sarcastically scream, arms waving “Well, EXCUSE ME for trying to KEEP US FROM GOING EXTINCT!” But that catharsis never comes. The same goes for Lilly Isen’s disgust with her mother for leaving her and Earth to establish humanity’s lifeboat.

If Fleur, who constantly confuses blind self-righteousness for actual moral superiority, ever walks away from an argument chastened, I will throw my hands up in joy.

But I digress. Ah, what can be said about the Julius Berger subplot? The story of what happened on the subshuttle before Ashlynne’s mother was left to die changes so many times, it’s hard to tell what actually happened in the end. That muddles the message. I assume this episode is supposed to introduce Julius as a destabilizing factor that will sew discord in Forthaven in the episodes to come. Instead, the episode ends with him chastened by Stella after she discovered that he did not sleep with a teenage girl (?), and his character is possibly less defined than it was when the episode began.

Once again, the best acting and the most interesting bits exposition came from President Tate (Liam Cunningham). I demand more Tate and less everybody else. Since I’m one of a dwindling audience still tuning into the show, you should probably listen to me.

A few final questions:

Tate offers a truce and assistance to the ACs upon their very first meeting with the leader, Rudy. Yet, Rudy rejects his offer (he actually says the words “…someday I shall destroy you.”) and seems more concerned with who his parents are, which Tate cannot (or refuses to) tell him. Are his parents characters we already know?
What was the signal Rudy gave, that Cass and Jack interpreted (or misinterpreted) as a sign to kill them?
Is every episode going to end with Fleur and Cass taking a child back to Forthaven?
What has triggered the ACs sudden ability to reproduce? Tate says there were specifically designed to not procreate. Follow-up question: have none of the characters on the show seen Jurassic Park. Life finds a way.

Overall Grade: C-